


Seek and Return

by LinnyBear



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Demon Possessed Seeker, F/M, Possession AU, sarah writes fic instead of being a good student, what if Caer Oswin had been more painful than it already was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 04:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6179719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinnyBear/pseuds/LinnyBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seekers can't be possessed by demons. It's something Varric knows, and something he takes for granted, until it's staring him right in the face. And the world might make even less sense than it did five minutes ago, but that doesn't mean he's letting it take her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seek and Return

**Author's Note:**

> I found a post on tumblr talking about one half of your otp getting possessed and losing control and the other snapping them out of it and then this happened and I was supposed to be studying and I'll probably fail my OChem test tomorrow but this exists now and I think that's the important part don't you

Seekers can’t be possessed by demons.

It’s one of those things that Cassandra told Varric, and honestly he doesn’t question any of that shit anymore but he is still secretly glad to know it. Spirit possession was a bitch (and he’d see that so well, so closely) and of all the things he could always lose her to, at least that was never one of them.

So why _the fuck_ is this happening now?

She’s looking down on him, on all of them, with eyes that are simply not hers, not _human,_ and he knows -

Shit. _Shit._

He almost doesn’t act fast enough, so distracted as he is trying to figure out why the seeker had been shouting at her former superior one moment and dreadfully silent the next, what the Lord Seeker meant when he got that look in his eyes, like sorrow and regret and pity, like he was about to shoot a wounded animal, but is convinced it’s for its own good, telling her _I’m so sorry, Seeker, but this needs to be -_

And she was a terrifying force, like this. She’d spoken of the power of the seekers, very briefly, only once, but never did she put them all on display. She sent a wave of _something_ out from herself and he had just enough awareness in him to jump back before it hits him (out of the corner of his eye he sees some of the other seekers aren’t so lucky, they’re knocked to the ground in agony), fire a few bolts at the lesser shades that were spawning seemingly up from the ground.

_Seeker, what are you doing, please tell me this is some sick joke this can’t you can’t -_

And suddenly the Inquisitor is at his back, stabbing a demon clean through before the thing can take what would probably have been a fatal swing at Varric’s head.

“What the fuck do we do?!”  She yells above the chaos, throwing one of her daggers at one of the red templars (red _seekers._ Shit.)

He snorts out a rather bitter laugh. “You think I know?”

“Varric we can’t just - She’ll kill us if we don’t - “ And Varric knows she’s trying to work up the courage to tell him what he can’t even form into thoughts.

Because he won’t be losing the Seeker to this, he _won’t_ , it will not be his hand she dies by, and she’s not already gone because _Seekers can’t be possessed by demons -_

But a cry of pain from Dorian draws both dwarves back to the center of the battle, where Cassandra is doing something to Dorian that’s making him crumple into a ball, even as he still tries to reach out with his magic to stop her, Varric could tell he couldn’t.

_I can set fire to the lyrium in the blood of mages and templars alike, if need be._

Shit.

He knows he has to act then. When Cassandra wakes up - and she will, she _has_ to - she won’t be able to live with knowing what she was doing to Sparkler. Knowing she had _killed_ him would be even worse, but - fuck, there’s too much of that weird energy coming off of the ground around her still, too many demons and he can’t get close to her, not yet, so he yells back for the Inquisitor to cover him and takes off to get a clear shot.

“I’m sorry, Cassandra,” He murmurs to himself, and fires a quick bolt into the back of her calf.

She crumples, and he’s immediately sick with himself, but he also finally has a clear path to the Seeker while Sparkler gathers himself back up and the Inquisitor fells the last of the demons and fuck his hands are shaking and tears are starting to burn around the edges of his eyes but he never veers, not even as he’s running right up to the still clearly possessed seeker and looking into eyes that aren’t hers, aren’t anyone’s, aren’t even human.

He gathers her into his arms. Let her stab him in the back while he does - for a moment he doesn’t care. “Come on, Cassandra, I know you’re in there somewhere.”

“V-Varric?” Tentative, and confused, as she slumps against him. And he finally breathes.

“Yeah, Seeker, it’s me. Is this - “ He swallows, his throat too dry. “Is this you?”

“It is. I - I don’t know what came over me - I’m… I’m so... ”

And she’s sobbing into his shoulder, and his heart continues to break, but she’s back, and he focuses on that alone.

 

It’s always a bad sign when Varric loses count of his drinks. He feels like shit for it later, always, but in the moment he decides that, well, he might as well not stop if he’s already lost track.

Except it’s been happening a lot more lately. And he can hear Hawke in his mind, teasing him in that way that he knows is just her trying to remind him he’s loved, and he needs to stop, even if she’s kind of an ass about it, he knows.

Shit, he misses her. That’s one more thing to drink about.

But he won’t get the chance. He knows it the minute he catches bright red hair in the corner of his eye, and Corynn Cadash takes a seat in front of him without asking.

“Get your ass out of that bottle, Tethras,” She says, so tactful was their illustrious leader. “I need you sober enough to talk to Cassandra.”

He sputters.

“Well she won’t talk to me,” Cadash has her arms folded across her chest. He can always see the old Carta bruiser in her when she gets like this. “She won’t talk to anyone. And it’s been two weeks, and I know she’s been through some shit - but I need her back. We all do.”

“And you think _I’m_ the one who should talk to her.” He hadn’t so much as met her eye in going on three weeks. And he wasn’t sure he ever could again.

“Yes. I do. Believe it or not, you’re one of the closest people to her - and before you ask, yes, I already had Dorian, Cullen, and even Leliana try and talk to her and she _won’t._ So it has to be you.”

“It just can’t do that, Inquisitor.” He drains the last of his drink, but sets it aside when Cadash gives him a _look._

“You can, and you’re going to.”

“Surely you’re not _ordering_ me to talk to the seeker?” And he knows it’s going to piss her off the moment it leaves his mouth, but he wants her to _leave him alone,_ so he’ll be an ass if it’s what it takes.

“Do I have to make it an order?” His words have clearly hit their mark, too, because she’s raising her voice enough one of the serving girls circles around from their table. “Because I sure as shit ca -” ‘

She stops, letting out a long breath. “I’m sorry. I won’t - I’m not ordering anyone, I just… Please, Varric, as my friend and hers, please do this.” And if she didn’t sound so damn tired, and just the right amount of vulnerable to remind him of how young she really is, and just a little bit like - ah, fuck, he’s doing this isn’t he.

“Fine.” He runs a hand over his eyes. “I’ll sober up here and go find her. Just don’t be surprised if you’re a dwarf short from your Inquisition.”

“That’s all I ask.” She smiles, and reaches out to squeeze his shoulder as she leaves him alone at the table again. “Thank you, Varric."

 

He finds the Seeker two hours later, after a bit of strong coffee and after he steeped in his own apprehension for awhile. She’s at the training dummies, and he realizes it’s probably the first time in days she’s been outside to train. It’s a good sign, honestly it is. Watching her limp had been hard, and knowing the limp meant she was going stir crazy, that she probably felt useless when she couldn’t stay on her feet for long, that had been harder.

He doesn’t realize until she glances behind her that he’s been staring.

She sighs. “What do you want, Varric?”

“To talk, Seeker.” She stills. “I know we haven’t, yet, and I’m sure neither of us really want to, but… I think we should.”

“What will that accomplish?”

“I’m not sure. Possibly nothing. Or maybe we’ll just stop avoiding each other finally.”

She’s still a long moment, before sheathing her sword. “Fine. To the battlements?”

She still hasn’t looked him in the eye. Her face is hard, and frustratingly unreadable. This will probably end with him being thrown from the battlements. He’ll likely deserve it. “Sounds good.”

They walk in silence. She nods at Cullen as they pass him, and and he gives Varric a look that can only be described as absolute relief. He’ll ask Curly about that one later.

When they’re what she considers far enough away from people, she turns to him. “Alright, you wanted to talk. So, talk.”

“I’m sorry.” It’s not how he imagined getting these words out to her. But he’s already started, so he might as well keep going. “I hate that I had to hurt you. I don’t ever actually want to do that, you know? And I hate that I still don’t think I could have done anything else - “

“You couldn’t have.” She’s not looking at him, instead staring out into mountains in front of them. “You did exactly what you needed to. You have nothing to apologize for, Varric.”

“But - “

“You should never have been in that position to begin with. I put you there, so I will make the apologies.”

“You can’t apologize for being _possessed,_ Seeker.”

“Can’t I?” Her hands fist at her sides. “I am a Seeker of Truth. I am supposed to be untouchable by all spirits and demons alike. For a better seeker, what happened would have been impossible. But I was not a better seeker. I was _weak.”_

“You were _not.”_ He says, firmly. “You are a lot of things, Cassandra Filomena Andraste Bullshit Whatever Pentaghast, including a purposeful pain in my ass and stabber of very good books, but you are not _weak,_ and never could be.”

She affords him a glance then, finally.

“What happened at Caer Oswin was… Shit, that was fucked up. I mean I don’t understand any of this seeker stuff, but I know that when Corypheus gets involved, we end up with a dwarf who can _magically_ close fade rifts, and literal giants full of red lyrium, and just… Weird shit.” She snorts, and gives just the barest hint of a smile, and he warms a little. “So finding a way to force a demon on a Seeker was probably not beyond his reach, and despite all that you overcame it, and you’re here and completely _you_ , and I think that’s pretty damn impressive.”

“It was not without your help, though. Without you, Varric I would be... ” She’s eyeing him… Very oddly. And maybe it’s because it’s the first time her eyes have met his in far too long, and it’s so wonderful to look up and see _her_ eyes, but it’s actually a bit intense, and he’s a little uncomfortable with the sudden rush of emotions he’s feeling so he just keeps talking to make them stop.

“I mean, I wouldn’t exactly call shooting you in the leg _helping,_ but if that’s - “

And that’s when she kisses him.

It’s not as rough as he’d ever imagined it (and yes, he’d imagined it, far too often, even while he feared she’d never want to even look at him again) but it’s not exactly soft, either. It’s desperate, and not at all tentative, but doesn't it just make sense that she’d be all in for this?

Possibly against his better judgment, he pulls her closer, and returns the kiss, with just as much fervor and does his best to match her passion, and so by the time they pull apart he’s pressed up against the side of the battlements, and they’re both panting and flushed but smiling, and he takes it as a sign she’s in no way put off by him returning the kiss.

“Seeker, I’m… I mean...  “ His hands settle around her waist, hers on his shoulders, because the kiss had broken whatever had let them possibly be apart. “Shit. I’m speechless. Good job.”

She laughs, and it’s absolutely the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. “This is not how I meant to tell you this, but. I suppose you get my meaning.”

“I don’t know, you could always try telling me again.” And she does kiss him again, but it’s brief, and when she pulls back this time she looks sadder, so he doesn’t try to push her. Instead he eases them down so they can sit back against the stone, and she settles against his shoulder.

“Varric, I… do not want you to think this is just me getting swept up in the moment after a rescue. I have been thinking about this - about _you -_ for some time.”

How long? He doesn’t ask. “Again. All I did was shoot you. I hardly think that’s a rescue.” She laughs again, softly. “You fought the thing back. You’re okay because of _you.”_

He needs her to know that. If he gets no other point across, he needs her to know she’s incredible.

“I do hope you can forgive me for what I’ve done. That the Inquisitor and Dorian can as well. I never… I didn’t want to hurt them.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Seek - Cassandra. They know that.”

She hums. “Say my name again.”

“Cassandra.” She leans down and kisses him again, soft and warm and wonderful, before she rest her forehead against his. “To be fair, this is not how I intended to comfort you when I asked to talk.”

“That is alright. I prefer this, actually.” And shit, if he didn’t as well.


End file.
